Going on the juice

Remember way back when I started this blog?  I mentioned that I was on a diet, which I subsequently broke 1 post later.  The situation is getting a little out-of-control now.  Somehow I went from being on a diet to gobbling mass quantities of cheese when I’m not on the all-carb diet, and then washing it all down with copious amounts of cocktails and wine.  How bad is it?  Well the skin on my hip bones is now chaffed from being stuffed into my jeans like the muffin-topped, walking-sausage that I now am.

Drastic times call for drastic measures, and those measures go by one name: JUICE.  Yup, I’ve decided to go on a juice cleanse.  Nothing but juice for 5 days.  Being cheap, I’ve decided to make my own juices vs. spending the $70/day.  I’ve also enlisted the help of my friend and library-master, Kim.  We will be using her willpower to push us through this week as I don’t know what that word means.  I’ve only used it in phrases such as: “I will power my way through the rest of this fried chicken even if it kills me.”

Kim and I stopped by the green market yesterday to pick up the necessary “greens” for our core drink.  After we were each carrying a giant bag of Kale, Swiss Chard, and Spinach, we both exchanged the “look.”  I have a feeling that we will be swapping “the look” many times over the next week – a mixture of, “are you sure we want to do this?” and “this is a LOT of ruffage…”

Actually, I’ve gotten a lot of “looks” and “comments” after telling people about my idea.  My husband laughed and said that he gives me a half a day before I down a cheeseburger.  Yummmm, cheeseburger…  Nils said that I’m already cranky now, so why would I want to do something that makes me worse.  Dave said that if I get snappy, he’s going to get help and then feed me until I’m human again.  There were some other comments in there that I won’t mention, but let’s file them under “potty humor.”  With my history of flying into hypoglycemic rage if I haven’t eaten in 20 minutes, people are… nervous.  I don’t blame them.  I think I may dim the lights in the library all next week and put signs up that say, “Beware.  Librarians on juice cleanse.”

So if my posts seem a little angry next week, it’s just because I’m hungry…