The immune system of a canary

Ok, so everybody makes fun of how crazy paranoid I get when I fly. It’s not just the whole “tons of metal flying through the air” thing, it’s also being crammed into a cabin with a bunch of strangers, breathing re-circulated air. Gross. I also get freaked out from sitting so long – can’t you get blood clots that way?  Yup, I’m crazy.  Before I fly, I usually down vitamins, a bottle of water (I hate being dehydrated), and a couple of aspirin. In all honesty, I should probably just be sedated to spare me and whoever is unfortunate enough to sit next to me my frequent flying anxiety attacks.

I might be crazy, but all I know is that I didn’t take vitamins before my flight on Friday and now look at me. My head feels like it weighs a million pounds my ears feel like they’ve been stuffed with cotton balls. I’ll spare you more graphic details, but I’ve got a wicked head cold/sinus infection. I was hoping the worst of it was on Monday, and then hoped the same thing on Tuesday… same on Wednesday… and now it’s Thursday and it’s the worst day so far. So maybe, just maybe, today is the worst day? Maybe this bug has finally run its course?  Is it just coincidence that I got sick right after I flew with out vitamins?  Maybe…  But come on!  I KNEW that airplane air smelled funny…  It’s probably “the swine…”

I’ve quarantined myself on my couch in my apartment, wishing I had enough energy to walk 2 blocks to the video store because daytime TV is crap (except Ellen, gotta love Ellen). Looks like I didn’t need that juice diet a few weeks ago since I’m currently living on chicken broth, grapefruit juice, and tea. I keep thinking about my favorite line from The Devil Wears Prada: “I’m just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.”  Even if I do lose any weight from this, I’ll pack it back on pretty quickly – all I can think about is being hungry enough for a cheese burger.  Isn’t that weird?  I’m not craving a cheeseburger, I’m craving the craving of a cheeseburger.

Of course, I crave ramen right now, which is making me even angrier about the fact that Ippudo doesn’t do takeout.  So now I’m locked in my apartment, living off of juice, cursing Ippudo every time my stomach growls.